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Given our immigrant roots, most Asian girls endure a latent insecurity about everything from our boobs to our patriotism (both things that are just slightly there). But if you're going to lock it down and marry your Oriental princess, you must know one final thing: in Chinese wedding traditions, the groom pays for the wedding.

So, as her white, Jewish (80% of the time), totally-secure-and-normal boyfriend, you better be prepared for when your girlfriend mistakes "soup or salad" for "super salad." And since Asians have eyes like gravy boats, her crying jags are bound to extend late into the night. STEP FOUR: Locking it Down If you've made it this far, then you know all the dirty secrets of dating an Asian girl. You know we pretend to love drinking, even though we turn into full-blown red-faced injuns when we do. (According to my mom, the tradition stems from the groom's family giving the bride's family a cow in exchange for her.) So, if you're going to marry an Asian, get ready to empty your pockets. Of course, because of this, my parents want me to marry a Chinese guy and my brother to marry a white girl.

STEP ONE: Finding an Asian Asian girls typically hang out at one of three places: the mall, the library, or Pinkberry. If, by the end of the night, she giggles into her napkin/hand fan, you've got yourself a second date.

When you get there, look around: the best Asian girl to pick up will be the one wearing a hoodie and heels (there is always one). As she takes out her phone to tell you, you should make a nice comment about her phone flair (Asian girls always have some bedazzled jank hanging off our phones, usually a cartoon duck or a jade tiger). Asian girls will go on a date with anyone if she can tell a cutesy story about it later: "And then, after he saw my Keroppi keychain, he asked me out at Pinkberry! " STEP TWO: The First Date It doesn't matter where you take an Asian girl on a first date as long as you stick to the following topics of conversation: food, fashion, and making fun of other Asians ("So, your friends just stayed in and did math problems? However, no matter what you do, don't step on the yellow-fever land mine that is acknowledging the Asian fetish.

I am a romantic woman, understanding, friendly, kind, hardworking, fun, lover of reading, exercise, cooking, music.

As said man, let’s call him Mikey (name changed obvs) was kinda in the public eye, I was able to see the public’s feedback and perceptions of him… I figured people were just jealous of his privileged job, so decided that I would try to figure out how much of a *prick* he was for myself…It was a time before tinder, a time when was one of the few forms of dating that held a much higher probability ratio of not receiving dick pictures (always a bonus).I had matched with a cute older guy, a bit older than I normally go for but figured YOLO and he was 36, not 56! After we got chatting he revealed that he was a TV presenter for a world famous football clubs TV channel, interesting.Brace yourselves, buckle up and get ready to be thankful you’re not me right now…I had joined up on a trial basis to see what the offerings were out there.

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